Sunday, 17 September 2017

Don't Spin My Positives Into Negatives, Please!

You know what my biggest struggle is? When people turn the things I love about my son into negatives.
I think that was the biggest problem I had when he was diagnosed with ASD. The professionals would say, "See how he gets down at eye level with the table?" or "See how he lines up those cars?" These would be followed by a sympathetic look and a little nod, as if to say, "That's the autism." I hated that. I hated that I started to look at these things in a bad way.
I love that he gets down so his eyes are peering over the table, to get a closer look at his favourite toys.
I love how particular he is about lining his cars up. I love how he turns everything into a car or train adventure - crayons racing around a placemat at a restaurant, pillows lined up on the floor. Right now, I'm watching him carefully loading a car into the back of a transport truck and using a little wrench to "change" the tires on his cars, all while kneeling down on the floor, up close to the table, to get a close-up look at his work. He's so detail oriented.
I love all his big feelings, even when they are hard to deal with and may make others uncomfortable.
I love that he's such a good judge of character and doesn't get super friendly with just anyone. If you are welcomed into the C Club, then you must be a pretty special person.
I love how he notices text everywhere! He will spot letters and numbers and want to stop to check them out. He can sometimes read letters backwards, when inside a store with window lettering that faces outside. He loves books so much; I know he is going to be a reader.
Over the past year, I have learned to mostly ignore comments and looks, but sometimes they sting. Badly.
Here's the bottom line. All these things are not negatives. Don't feel sorry. They all add up (with lots of other wonderful things) to make Little C who he is - a smart, loving, funny, energetic little boy.

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