Don't Spin My Positives Into Negatives, Please!

You know what my biggest struggle is? When people turn the things I love about my son into negatives.
I think that was the biggest problem I had when he was diagnosed with ASD. The professionals would say, "See how he gets down at eye level with the table?" or "See how he lines up those cars?" These would be followed by a sympathetic look and a little nod, as if to say, "That's the autism." I hated that. I hated that I started to look at these things in a bad way.
I love that he gets down so his eyes are peering over the table, to get a closer look at his favourite toys.
I love how particular he is about lining his cars up. I love how he turns everything into a car or train adventure - crayons racing around a placemat at a restaurant, pillows lined up on the floor. Right now, I'm watching him carefully loading a car into the back of a transport truck and using a little wrench to "change" the tires on his cars, all while kneeling down on the floor, up close to the table, to get a close-up look at his work. He's so detail oriented.
I love all his big feelings, even when they are hard to deal with and may make others uncomfortable.
I love that he's such a good judge of character and doesn't get super friendly with just anyone. If you are welcomed into the C Club, then you must be a pretty special person.
I love how he notices text everywhere! He will spot letters and numbers and want to stop to check them out. He can sometimes read letters backwards, when inside a store with window lettering that faces outside. He loves books so much; I know he is going to be a reader.
Over the past year, I have learned to mostly ignore comments and looks, but sometimes they sting. Badly.
Here's the bottom line. All these things are not negatives. Don't feel sorry. They all add up (with lots of other wonderful things) to make Little C who he is - a smart, loving, funny, energetic little boy.

What a Difference a Year Makes!

A couple weeks ago, C and I went to his one year follow-up appointment with the pediatrician. Last year's appointment led to a trip to the developmental clinic to be assessed by the Child Development Team.

This appointment went much smoother. I kept thinking about our first appointment a year ago while we were in the waiting room. I was watching him play and listening to him talk up a storm and started to tear up. It's amazing. What a difference a year makes. I feel like I say that a lot, but it's so very true.

One Year Ago...

So much has changed. When I look at photos from last year, he has physically grown so much. I feel like he has entered boyhood, leaving the baby days behind him. (Insert sounds of this mama sobbing that her little boy is growing up too fast.)

I've talked about his struggles with speech, (here and here and here) and I have to tell you that he talks NON-STOP now! He loves singing and loves to tease and joke. His sentences get longer every day. Yesterday, he said something, and I stopped to count... it was an 8-word, perfectly formed sentence. Amazing. Things have just started to click.

He's also not as shy or upset in new situations. It's not smooth sailing, but he is much more willing to try new things. I think we have also learned the best ways to support him through new situations and make sure he feels secure. We allow him to take his time. Other people don't get it, but we do. People will expect him to accept their big, loud hellos when they see him, and he is not having any of that! He needs space; he needs time, and he needs understanding.

He is still super independent and has never ending energy. He's also gives the best hugs in the world, which he saves for only his favourite people. I'm always grateful that I'm on that list!

I'm so excited to see what the next year holds!

Hand Dryers (aka ear torture devices)

Have you ever noticed how loud public washrooms are? I remember when the super strength blower hand dryers first started popping up in public washrooms. They were so cool! The air was so strong it would move your skin! Your hands actually dried, unlike the older, slower, colder models.

Great right?

Well, I used to think so. Now? Not so much.

I have come to realize that these dryers are like weapons of torture for many. Little C hates public washrooms because of all the loud noises. When he was a baby, he would cry anytime that I would take him into a public washroom to use the change station. I always thought it was because washrooms are often very echoey and cold. Now I know that it was an early sign of his over-sensitivity to some sounds. One of the struggles many people with ASD have is sensory sensitivity. Something I hear as an annoying sound can be painfully loud to him. I find those hand dryers really loud, so I can't imagine what it sounds like and feels like for him.

I've gotten pretty good at avoiding the crazy hand dryers - holding hands over his ears, quickly washing hands and drying with paper and leaving, etc. Unfortunately, that's not the only ear torture. The auto-flush toilets are also horrible for anyone with sensory sensitivity. First, they are also really loud. Even worse, they auto-flush... whether you are ready for it to flush or not. Paired with how loud it is and a child's noise sensitivity, it's terrifying!

I can certainly appreciate the fact that businesses are trying to avoid using paper towel and probably trying to keep their washrooms clean by making sure there isn't paper on the floor and the toilets actually get flushed, but come on! Couldn't we think of little ears - whether they are sensitive to sounds or not, it must be a big harsh for many.

It has made toilet training a bit tricky. At home? No problem! When visiting friends and family? Piece of cake! Public washrooms? Challenging. Usually, I can avoid public washrooms with shorter trips or knowing where single stall washrooms are, so I can control the noise levels.  There have been a few instances when they couldn't be avoided and I would have to hold my hands over his ears during our "visit." Usually it ends up with him upset and me teary eyed, feeling horrible that I had to make him endure auditory torture.

I would love to know: how do your kids find those super strength hand dryers and super sucker toilets? If they are bothered, what tricks do you have to avoid them, or make it less traumatic for your child (and you!)?

When the air is strong enough to move
your skin maybe it's too strong!

Thinking back on the last 9 months...

Little C was diagnosed with autism exactly 9 months ago.  I have been thinking a lot about how things have changed since that assessment. Sometimes it seems like a lifetime ago. Other times, it feels like just yesterday. 

Because the government was making improvements to intervention and changing service providers, it took a LONG time to get intervention started. Too long. I was excited about the changes, because I felt like C would get better service and support, but I hated having to wait. It was stressful, and I often felt like the I was failing him, especially when all you hear about autism is how important early intervention is.

That changed a two months ago, when we finally started intervention. We were so lucky to be matched with a great supervisor and interventionist. It was such a relief! I see him growing even more. It's also a great feeling to know that Team C has grown. 

Looking back, I think I was probably a little hard on myself. It's not like we sat back and just waited as the months passed. We work really hard with him, while making it fun. We also visited a private speech language pathologist every other week, which helped me learn more strategies to work into our day. We have actually been going for almost 2 years now, and over the past six months, C's speech has exploded. He's gone from single words to five or more word sentences. He talks NON-STOP now. Half the time, I can't understand him, but it's like listening to music. He's so funny, too. I always knew he was funny and I knew that he was a thinker, but it really makes me wonder what has been going through his head all of these months. 

I see so many changes everyday. He is also becoming more friendly with people and talks to them. He has always been a bit shy, but was starting to get really shy around the time of his diagnosis. It usually takes him a less time to warm up now. Sometimes, he really surprises us and jumps right in. 

As his speech progresses, he opens up so much more. He comments on everything, asks questions, and makes a lot of requests (especially when something sweet is involved!) He's recognizing emotions in others, and says, "Sorry!" when he thinks he has upset you. When he gets excited and gets a little rough, it's always followed up with, "Sorwee, Ma." The other night, I was putting some greenish goop to my face (a mask), and he said, "Ma, WHAT are you doing?" He cracks me up! 

Of course, some things don't change. He climbs everywhere and is always able to figure out how to solve any problem he encounters. What a dare-devil! He always pushes the limits, in a very calculated way. It's pretty rare that he fails when taking risks. He is also the most loveable kid you could meet and gives hugs and kisses so freely to those he loves. He is a great judge of character. 

All of the worrying I had a year ago has been fading. He has come such a long way. This time last year, he had one word. ONE. He didn't say mom. He couldn't tell us anything he needed or wanted, and was so frustrated. We were frustrated. Now, with each day gets easier for us. This summer, we enrolled him in soccer. The first night was a disaster, but it gets better each night. I guess, that's what I have reminded myself over the past year - stick to it; keep working; it gets better... and it is SO worth it. 

Life is good. Really good. 

Random Thoughts: Kids in Restaurants

We were sitting in a restaurant for lunch last weekend, and I got thinking. 

I always thought it was cute when kids would stare you down from a neighbouring table or when they leaned over the back of the booth, practically putting their chin on your shoulder. I was also be super impressed when I saw kids who were really well behaved, silently praising their parents for a job well done. At the same time, I'm sure that I got annoyed with kids in restaurants at times.  I'm embarrassed to say, I was probably a little "judge-y" of the parents with kids were a little less well-behaved.

Well, last weekend, my kid was the one who was a little less well-behaved. 

I admit, as soon as I had a child, I had my eyes opened. I find myself saying, "When you know better, you do better," a awful lot lately. This is just one more example of one of those situations. Now, I'm so much more open minded and find myself defending and supporting other families, when I see kids having a moment in public. 

As an outsider looking in, I don't know the full story. 

We've always taken Little C out to eat. Sometimes, it's at McDonalds, but we also try sit down restaurants. We think it helps him learn what is expected of him in public places and gives him opportunities to practice. We certainly don't expect him to be perfect. He's 3! 

Every so often, I see posts online about being annoyed by kids in restaurants. I know that kids can be loud and energetic, but they're also learning. Restaurants can be boring and overwhelming with all the forced sitting and new sights and (often loud and unexpected) noises.  They'll get better and better, but if they are never taken to restaurants, how can they work on behaving in restaurants? 

Now, when I see families at a restaurant enjoying a meal together (or trying to...), I always try to give an understanding smile and shrug to let them know that I get it. 

It Takes A Village

"Your son meets the criteria for a diagnosis of autism."

The words still sting a bit.

It's been two weeks since my husband and I sat in the office following Little C's assessment.

It was a surprise, and it wasn't a surprise.
It was definitely surreal, hearing those words spoken.
It was definitely emotional.
It was definitely hard to hear.

To be honest, C was a total rockstar at the assessment. I was (and still am) so very proud of him. He immediately took to the team and seemed to have fun. He showed off all his skills - pretend play, talking, letters, colours, shapes, fine motor, gross motor, puzzles, matching, and so much more. Sometimes he did more than I expected, and sometimes I knew he could do better, but that's okay. It was a long day, and he can't be 100% all the time.

Honestly, the best part of the day was that I got to sit back and watch. I couldn't interject or clarify anything for him, so I had to just sit, and watch in amazement. It made me realize just how far he's come in the past year. This time last year, we were just starting to work with a Speech Language Pathologist. Since then, there have been so many changes in him. A year ago, he couldn't say any words. Now he has many, many words, and his vocabulary grows every day. He also seems to understand EVERYTHING.  A year ago, he couldn't sit still for 2 minutes and now he can sit through a 30 minute SLP session, with very little complaining. He is making much better eye contact, and although it takes him a little while to warm up to new places and faces, he is much more friendly with new people.

In the end, the diagnosis was made. He has autism. We had a feeling it would come, but it was still hard to hear. Sitting in that room and listening to the psychologist, I couldn't seem to process what I was hearing. In the weeks leading up to the assessment, I found myself saying to my husband, "We have to be prepared for the chance that he could be diagnosed." We had talked a lot about how it didn't really change anything. C would still be the same awesome kid. We'd still be the luckiest parents to have him as our son. And we would still work on what he needed to work on, just as we always have. Still. It was hard to hear the words. The assessment team was very nice and very supportive and gave us time to process, let it sink in a little, and talk it out with them.

We made it clear that C is so much more than a label, and we wouldn't use it as an excuse. We'll keep working, just as we have up to this point. He is a loving, funny, smart little boy, and I would never wish him to be any different than he is.  This new word is just one small piece of him.

I'm a firm believer that in the saying, "It takes a village to raise a child." With this diagnosis, our village has grown. That's comforting to realize, when there are so many things I'm not sure of. It's nice to know we're not alone.

"Ma" - It's Music to My Ears

I can't get enough of it! Little C  has started calling me "Ma" all the time. When I see him in the morning, he grins and yells, "Ma!" People continue to tell me how much I will eventually tire of hearing him, but I still can't imagine that day! Each syllable is like music to my ears, especially when he says, "Ma." Some days I tear up just listening to him. I'm so proud of my little guy!

He's come such a long way since April, when he only had one word that he would use regularly. Now, he's starting to string words together, like "Pwease Ma!", "Eed Pwease" (read please), and "Ma, D" (Ma, I'm done!) He also says his alphabet all by himself and has about 20 other words. His expressive language is exploding!

We have two weeks until his assessment with the developmental clinic, and I'm nervous. I shouldn't be, and am not afraid of what they actually say, but I am afraid that they won't see what I see. I mean, how can they? These strangers only get to see him for a few hours, in a little room at the hospital. C can be shy, so what if they don't see his personality? What if they don't see the boy who loves to joke and kid around, climb, slide, swing, and explore? Will he say the alphabet for them or read a book? Will he eagerly participate and stay focused for as long as he does with his speech language therapist?

Honestly, I don't know. Maybe he will, maybe he won't. At the end of the day, I know the truth. My husband knows the truth. So do the people who are close to him. We know how awesome his is, and that won't change. Maybe at the end of the day he'll have a label attached to him, and maybe not. That's the part I'm not actually worried about. I just want them to see him like we do. To me, he's perfect, and every time I hear him say, "Ma!" I know that I'm right.

More Words!

"Once he starts talking, you'll want him to stop!"  I used to politely chuckle and give a fake smile, when someone would say that. To be honest, inside, I'm always screaming, "No, I won't. I won't want him to stop!"  

I know that they're just trying to make me feel better, but when you have a child with a speech delay, the most magical thing you could hear would be words from your child. Any words. Even sounds that could be the start of something are pretty special.

It really hasn't been that long since he finally started using his first word. "Go." I still love that word. It took him almost two and a half years to start using one word, so those two letters were like magic.

A major breakthrough for C was the use of signs. We introduced a few different signs to help with his frustration, and he formed his own versions of them. The signs he uses most often are more, help, open, and done.

Little C signing his version of, "Help," while on vacation.

Now he is starting to match words or the initial sound in the word with these signs, and is putting signs and words together. For example, he started using his index finger for the number 1 and his sign for more, and then started using the word, "more," instead of the sign. Progress! Since we get so excited and reward any actual word he uses, it pretty much means we always have to read "1 more" book, stay at the playground for "1 more" minute, or give him "1 more" Timbit. I'm not complaining though.

He's been picking up so much lately. In addition to a lot of  new words, he is making a lot of new sounds, can say most of the letters in the alphabet in order and in isolation, and can count to 10. It's been a lot of hard work for him and us, with the support of an awesome Speech-Language Therapist, and we're so proud and excited about his progress.

I love hearing him say anything and everything. Of course, he learned the word no, so in typical 2-year old fashion, "no" is now a constant in our house. When we're out for a walk, he will point out all the "T"s (trucks), point to our house and say "home," and sometimes say "Bu-bye" to anything we pass on our walks. I was pretty excited when he started to sometimes call me "Ma" and my husband "D." He doesn't say his own name, but refers to himself as, "Me" or sometimes "C." Since we call him "C" a lot, I consider it a win. With toilet training this week, we also learned "Uh-oh!"

Little C has made a lot of progress over the past six months, especially the past month, so I can't wait to see (and hear) what's next. I need to focus on the growth he's had, so instead of being annoyed when people say, "Once he starts talking, you'll want him to stop!" I will smile and say, "I can't wait until that day!"

Real or Fake? Picture Perfect Posts

I have always loved taking pictures. When I was a child, I was always flipping through photo albums of birthday parties, vacations, and school pictures. To me, photographs help bring me back to a moment. They're like little time machines.

I remember taking pictures with my little turquoise camera that used those strange looking 110 film cartridges. The old disposable 35mm cameras were also a must have for vacations. It was always so fun to take them to the store to get developed. Of course, they were horrible pictures, but in each one of those fuzzy, foggy, off-centered pictures, there is a snapshot of my life.

In my early 20s, I started making scrapbooks. Well, I like to call them "Fancy Photo Albums" - basically photo albums with pretty paper and stickers, not the elaborate ones I see on Pinterest. I still enjoy putting pictures in albums, but I really don't have time. I'm about 3 years behind.  The other downside is that you don't get to share them with friends and family easily.

Social media has allowed me to create digital photo albums that I can share. I use Facebook to share more personal photos of my family and our adventures. On Instagram, I post more general, small moment pictures. This blog has allowed me to add some journalling, which I was always really bad at, when making actual scrapbooks.  Instagram and "Adventures of a Scatterbrain" are public, so I try to keep the pictures focused more on places and activities, not faces, to keep life a little more private.

I just returned from a short vacation with my son. It wasn't the ideal vacation. It was just the two of us, travelling to Prince Edward Island for an extended weekend trip. Little C was not in the best mood. I think he was going through a bit of a growth spurt, so he was having a bad week. For the most part, he was his usual happy, giggly, huggy self, but some times he was a screechy, tempery, grumpus. I always have a hard time with that, so I'm sure it seemed a lot worse than it was. Of course, when I got back home, I posted 25 or so pictures from the trip on Facebook and a few to Instagram.

I think he found his herd. #BestDayEver #PEIVacation #IslandHillFarm #Goats #ToddlerLife

A video posted by Tiffany S (@tiffs2012) on Jul 31, 2016 at 11:10am PDT

I was looking through the album the next day and realized that no one would know that it wasn't all picture perfect. This got me thinking, My Facebook and Instagram feed is always filled with happy pictures. I only post happy, positive pictures.  Is this an accurate snapshot of my life? Am I being fake?

Sure, you could say that it's fake, but I don't look at it like that. Honestly, unless it led to a good laugh or smile, I don't want to remember it in detail. I wouldn't devote a page in my photo album to it, so why would I post the picture online, where it could potentially life forever? I try to live in the positive and focus on the good.

I think it's easy to become envious of others when you see their perfect pictures posted online. Just remember that we are all creating our own digital footprint, editing and polishing before hitting that share or publish button. Things may not be quite as good as they seem, at least not all the time.

You won't see me posting pictures of tantrums, screaming, tears, or moments of failure. It's not because I don't want people to know that they happen, I just don't want to focus on them. Every parent knows that there are plenty of not-so-picture-perfect times, so why focus on the negative? Call me fake if you want, but I just want to remember the good times.

The Terrible & Terrific Twos (6 Ways to Survive a Tantrum)

Little C is now two and a half, and I'm sad to report that the terrible twos have arrived. I heard they would come. We saw glimpses, but from what I've experienced in the past couple of weeks, they are definitely here.  All I can say is yikes.

Honestly, most of our time is terrific. Little C is hilarious. He is very affectionate. He laughs a lot; loves to tease; dances up a storm when music comes on; loves nature, animals and art; is adventurous; and is still all about the cuddles.  

Unfortunately, we have entered tantrum town. They seem to start anytime he isn't getting what he wants, which is a lot, because he doesn't like that he can't run around the grocery store like a wild child or eat cookies and ice cream for breakfast. He also likes to push the limits all the time, and can be more irritable when tired or hungry. Tantrums are tough, and involve ear-piercing screams. They really don't last long, usually just a minute or two, and he seems to recover quickly, but I don't feel like I recover well.

I think the fact that Little C isn't talking much makes it even more difficult. Some sign language and the few words that he has certainly help, but we still have some points of frustration. He can't express why he is upset. I can't even imagine how difficult it must be for him.  I try to be understanding, but it's tough when you have the little person, the most important person in your life, screaming at the top of his lungs and looking at you with such frustration, and you don't have any idea about how to fix it. 

I'm still new at this, but I have learned a few things that seem to work for us. 

1) Stay Calm: In the middle of a tantrum, whether it be at home or in public, stay calm. Calm voice, calm facial expressions, calm body language. It's really difficult, because tantrums are emotional for everyone, but I think it's important. I try to get his full attention and eye contact, and calmly ask what is wrong or what he needs or to give him a choice. I'm finding that it's also important for one person to take the lead, when handling the situation. Instead of multiple voices and faces trying to diffuse the tantrum, there is one. I think it helps the situation seem calmer and less overwhelming. 

2) Get to Know The Good Times & The Bad Times - This is a good way to avoid a tantrum before it even starts. In my son's case, I've discovered that he is definitely an outdoor kid. He needs to be outside. It really hit home one day when he was in a particularly foul mood. It had been raining for three days and he hadn't been outside enough, and probably had a little too much screen time. He had thrown about three fits before 9am, so I said, let's get our boots and jackets on and go outside! It was still cloudy and rainy, but we went for a 30 minute walk around the neighbourhood, running and jumping in puddles, and it really turned his mood around. He was happy and much more relaxed for the rest of the day. We get out for a walk or playtime everyday, regardless of the weather. Sometimes it's all about the time of day. In the past couple of weeks, afternoons have also been a bit of a tantrum hot zone, especially if we go out in public. I think he is very sensitive to being tired, and even though he doesn't always think he needs a nap, he does, and shows signs of being tired soon after lunch is over. To avoid this, we stay at home, either inside or in the yard, after lunch until nap time. By avoiding his grumpy times and making sure he gets what he needs, I feel like I set him up for success, which is critical when trying to fend off the dreaded tantrum.

3) Give Options - C likes to be in control, which I think may be a toddler thing. By giving choices, he feels like he's in control. He may want ice cream for breakfast, but if he gets to choose between cereal and a waffle, he is a bit happier. He may not want to wear what I want him to, but if I give him a choice between two outfits, he'll pick one. Sometimes, it's a choice between continuing to scream and go home, or calming down and staying where we are. I know sometimes he's not in control, but I think knowing that there are consequences are important. Putting him in control of the choice seems to help. They seem to make him feel like he has a little control.  

4) Explain the Plan - I have been using a lot of "First - Then" language lately. First, we're going to pick up our toys, then we're going to have snack. First we are going to get dressed, then we're going to go to Sobeys, then we're going to the playground. There are no surprises. He knows what he has to do to get to what he wants. He also knows that if he gets through the not-so-fun stuff, he'll be rewarded with something fun. Most of the time, I have been doing this verbally, because C's receptive language is very good, but sometimes I use pictures. 

5) Distract (But Don't Reward) - Distraction works really well. When C's ice cream fell off the cone when we were away this weekend, he looked like he was going to get upset, but then I just said, "Hey look! Now you get to eat the cone!" He was happy. When he wanted to get a movie at the corner store, I said, "On the next rainy day, we'll come to the store to rent this. Now, let's go get some milk!" He was happy. When he didn't want to leave the playground, I pointed out some flowers for him to smell on the way out. Again, he was happy. I think it's important to note that distraction does not mean giving in and rewarding the behaviour. I'm not going to say, "Want a Timbit?" to stop him from tantruming. That would probably just lead to more tantrums. Distract, but don't reward! 

6) Breathe. Seriously, Just Breathe.  - This one has nothing to do with C. It has to do with me. When a tantrum hits, I need to remember to breathe. C's tantrums don't last, but even if they only last a minute, it feels like hours when in the moment. It's even more difficult when in public, feeling the looks of others on us, while I try to wrangle a squirming, screaming toddler. Sometimes, I may feel like crying, but instead I try to just breathe. And breathe again. And again. After it's over, I remind myself that it's never as bad as it seems in the moment. My grandmother used to say, "This too shall pass." She had 13 children, so I feel like this is good advice. We'll survive. 

I'm still new at this parenting thing, and I usually don't feel like I know what I'm doing, so I'm always searching for "real" advice.  I can't guarantee that these ideas will work for anyone else. If they don't, just try to be a supportive villager. I think it's important to be understanding and supportive of other parents who are going through the same thing. It takes a village, people. And sometimes the village needs to simply ignore the tantrum or give the mum or dad a supportive comment or understanding smile. We've all been there or are currently living it. Also, remember that the toddler years are also terrific! Focus on the good parts and try your best to deal with the not so good parts. 

Do you have any other ideas? I'd love to hear them. I could use a boost to my mom skills so I can better deal with the next tantrum!

In-Betweener Clothes

I hate shopping for clothes. It takes me days to get mentally prepared, and when I finally get up the courage, it usually ends with me leaving the stores empty handed, sitting in my truck, feeling so down. It's horrible. I realize that sounds overly dramatic, but it's true. It seems like every store is geared toward younger women or girls who don't have hips or a chest and have very skinny legs. Nothing fits. Nothing flatters. Nothing makes me feel good. By the end of a shopping trip, I feel horrible about myself.

I have been reading "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing" by Marie Kondo. It is basically a plan for organizing your home. You work with categories, like paper and clothing, and only keep items that "spark joy." I like this idea. Surround yourself with things that make you feel good. It sounds like a good plan. Well, let me tell you. Nothing sparks joy in my wardrobe.

This is why. (I will try not to make this move into rant territory.) I am about 5'7", and have always struggled with weight. Although I'm not in plus sized clothing, I am at the upper end of regular sizes. I wish that "plus" sizes went a little lower. I had started shopping in plus stores when I returned to work after maternity leave. I felt like I found "my store," because, when I left, I actually felt good about myself. I had found some nice clothes that both fit and flattered, and (BONUS!) the sales people were also friendly, which made me feel welcome.

Since then, I have been able to drop some more weight, which, health-wise, is a good thing, but I no longer fit in those sizes. I should be happy about that, but when it comes to clothing shopping, I'm stuck shopping at stores that I don't feel are made for me. Being at the upper end of the size spectrum, I get to choose the big versions of skinny clothes. Right now, everything is "skinny". Pant legs are so tight at the calf, they make me feel like an inverted triangle when I try them on. Clothes never fit well, too tight and pulling in some places while being baggy and frumpy in other places.  To make it more difficult, I have long legs, which further limits what I can buy for bottoms.

I really don't know how to fix this problem. It's not like I can design or make clothes. What I would love to see is a designer or clothing line to design and make clothes for us "in-betweeners." Focus the designs on those who are over a size 12. Not just making bigger sizes of skinny clothes. Have options to help us hide or smooth our tummies and the dreaded "muffin top." That would certainly spark joy in me when I look through my closet and go looking for something new to add to my wardrobe.

What are your favourite stores (online or in person) to shop in for clothes? I'd love to check them out!

It's Just A Kiss

I usually don't comment on news stories, but this one got under my skin. A lot. Social media has been buzzing this week over a picture that Victoria Beckham posted on Instagram, showing her giving her 5 year old daughter a kiss on the lips. It was her daughter's birthday and a very sweet picture -  a mum quietly celebrating her daughter on her birthday.

Happy Birthday baby girl 🙏🏻💕 We all love you so much 💜💜💜 X @davidbeckham @brooklynbeckham kisses from mummy X

A photo posted by Victoria Beckham (@victoriabeckham) on Jul 10, 2016 at 1:27am PDT

In my world, this is a pretty common sight. Just a parent and child having a "lip kiss." Of course, "the internet" disagreed, and many faceless commentators had to leave their two cents, saying it was disgusting and inappropriate.

It floored me. With so many sad stories in the news lately, people choose to pick on this? Why can't we celebrate love and parenthood?

This is not the first time this kind of story has met with internet outrage, and, sadly, I know it won't be the last. At some point, before becoming a mum, I don't think I gave it much thought. Now, I have a very affectionate 2 year old, who will stop mid-play or mid-walk to motion for me to kneel down for a "lip kiss" and hug. Even as I was typing this, he ran over, had me kiss his hand and then gave me a little kiss. He also gives major hugs, cheek kisses (where he pushes his cheek to mine and makes a kiss sound) and likes every boo-boo kissed better. He's affectionate, and lip kisses are part of the deal.

"Lip kisses," as they are referred to in my house, are pretty common with kids. Growing up, my family were big huggers. Kisses were always on the cheek. We hugged a lot, but didn't kiss on the lips. If it's not common in your house, it's okay. It doesn't make one family better (or worse) than another.

At the end of the day, it is important that children feel loved, safe, accepted, supported, and are cared for. That looks different for each child and each family. Take the child's lead. If they prefer to give high fives to show affection, go with it. If they like lip kisses, then go with that too. If you're not comfortable with that, then try something different. Most importantly, don't hate on one family just because they do things differently than you do. Be one of the hundreds of supporters who commented after the negative posts, celebrating and supporting this expression of affection between a mum and her daughter. Celebrate the love. Look for the good.

Toddler Survival List

Toddler life is never boring! There are so many ways to spend your time and money when you have a toddler in your life. Think of all the products and toys for toddlers. Some are great, but others are a waste of  money.  In my experience, simple and cheap is often the best! 

Here are my top 15 things for surviving life with a toddler!  

1. Sandra Boynton Bedtime books - Actually, Sandra Boynton works any time of the day. You can't go wrong with her books. A bit of a rhyme, lot of rhythm, and plenty of giggles and actions. Our nighttime favourites are "The Going to Bed Book" and "Pajama Time." They never get old! If I'm being totally honest, I ask to read them, if he doesn't. Bonus points for our daytime favourites: "The Birthday Monsters,"  Red Shirt, Green Shirt," and "Blue Hat, Green Hat." Little C has been having a lot of fun making up actions and dances to go along with the stories lately.  

2. Ikea plates, bowls, and glasses - We don't have a local Ikea, but I picked up sets of these on a whim when making an end of trip. They are easy to clean in the dishwasher, unbreakable and the perfect size. I love the colours and sometimes use them myself! Ours are getting a little old now and a little scratched, so I only wish I had picked up extra sets!

3. Crayola Washable Crayons - Crayola products are awesome, but their washable crayons are magical. Seriously. They will wipe off of anything - floors, walls, tables, couches, windows, or even clothes! With just a drop of water and very little effort, all crayon marks disappear, like magic.

4. Bubbles! Bubbles are smile and giggle makers. Bubbles outside, in the summertime, are always fun, but they can also help on a boring wintery day. Blow some bubbles when in the tub or put out a blanket in the living room, to keep the floor from getting slippery, and have a bubble party. It's good for at least 10 minutes, which is pretty good in the life of a toddler! We got this great no spill "Fubbles" container recently, and although C found a way to spill a little, it's not nearly as disastrous as a big bottle of bubbles!

5. Netflix - We really try to limit screen time, but sometimes you just need time to do the dishes, use the bathroom, take a shower, make supper, or just take a breath! Netflix is perfect. I can let him watch a 20 minute program, and there is so much to choose from! As a bonus, I don't have to worry about what comes on during commercial breaks, because there aren't any! His current favourites are Paw Patrol and Chuggington. Full House and Fuller House are some family favourites.



C's got some new dance moves!

6. Music - music is great to have on in the background while playing. I have a Bose system that makes it easy to play music from our phones. Little C loves to dance, so music is always a good source of entertainment, for him and us!

10. Stickers - Stickers make for a fun time. You do have to be willing to peel them off everything in sight - floors, couch, dog, yourself, but they provide lots of fun. C's favourite way to get stickers right now are in books. He has these great little Disney's Cars books with four pages of stickers inside them. The stickers included seem to peel easily, which is good news for parents!

11.  Melissa & Doug - I don't know who Melissa and Doug are, but I'd love to give them a hug. They make the most amazing toys. They can be a bit pricey, but I always watch for sales or the shelves of Winners/Homesense. I love how open-ended they are, so they can be used for lots of social and pretend play.  

12.  Pinterest & Dollarstore Art Supplies - My little guy is crazy for art, so we go through a lot of crayons, paint, paper, and playdoh. Pinterest has so many ideas for cheap art projects for toddlers. Here is a recent project that we made with some masking tape, a $3 canvas, and some paint:

13. Playgrounds - Even though the playground near my house is awful, Little C loves it. Running, sand, sliding, rocks, swinging, dirt... It's all fun. There are some awesome playgrounds within driving distance of our house that we take advantage of from Spring to Fall. To him, a trip to a free playground is just as good as an expensive day trip. Add in some snacks, and it's a full afternoon of (affordable) fun. 

14. Library and Book Store - On a rainy day, there's nothing better than a good book. For toddlers, there's nothing better than the library or book store. It's a great way to find some new reads and hang out with some new friends. The children's section of indigo is always fun, and there is always new and exciting activities going on at the library. They offer great toddler programs, which I'm going to start taking better advantage of.

15. Coffee - This one isn't so much for the toddler as it is for the toddler-wranglers.  You don't know tired until you've spent a day chasing a toddler! A good tip is to invest in a good insulated travel mug. You don't have to worry about spills or having to continually re-heat that cup that you never really had a chance to finish.






That's my top 15. What are your must-haves for life with a toddler?

My New Favourite Word

My new favourite word is, "Go!"

Random, right? Well, maybe not so random. You see, my son is a late talker. Or maybe the correct thing to say is that he has a speech delay. I don't think I'd consider him non-verbal.  He has lots to say. Honestly, I've been to so many "experts," I don't know what to call it.

Bottom line? My awesome, loveable, funny, adventurous, oh so cute, busy boy doesn't say a lot. At least not in English. 

My son is almost 2 1/2. He hit all of his milestones early, with the exception of those related to communication. He has always understood language very well, and has found ways to communicate. He points, leads, gestures. We know what he wants and needs.  

I have always been a little concerned with his speech, but also recognized that he surpassed a lot of other milestones, and figured it would come. Also, his father was a late talker. At his 18 month assessment, we referred him to a local speech program. Four months later, we got into an assessment, and was matched with a Speech Language Pathologist. It's been 7 months since we started seeing a SLP and we've definitely seen improvement, but it is slow. 

A little over a week ago, everything changed. He said his first real word: GO!

We say, "Ready?... Steady..." and he says, "Go!!!" It gets clearer all the time, and he uses it in new contexts all the time. Of course, we set him up with situations to practice all the time. Empty aisle at the supermarket? Quiet parking lot? Stairs to bounce down? I say, "Ready?" He screams, "Go!" And away we go. It's like music to my ears. He is so proud of himself. 

We've been seeing progress over the past 7 months, but this is big. So, we'll keep making animal sounds, practice taking turns, play mirror to copy each other, use picture prompts, and pair sign language with verbal language.  We'll build his language skills, even though his speech is delayed. He can identify colours, animals, objects, and follows directions well (well, when his little two-year old mind wants to!) and he loves to learn!

The more I learn, the more I realize that every child is unique. My Little C isn't your Little A. And that's not a bad thing. Every child develops in their own way, with their own strengths and difficulties. It's  hard not to compare, but really, you can't compare. Milestones aren't an exact science.

That's not to say that I take a "wait and see" approach, but I have to remember that learning takes time and not to get discouraged. We'll get help with anything that he needs, and have fun with his strengths while supporting and improving areas that aren't as strong.

We'll keep working and having fun while we are.
Ready... steady... Go!

Parent Programs - Watch for Them!

When I was in the hospital after giving birth to my son, it seemed like there was a revolving door of people coming in - doctors, various nurses, staff dropping off (and then picking up) meals, and folks from the mommy and baby clinic. I was in the hospital for 5 days, so there were a lot of faces in and out of the room. After an unexpected C-section to welcome the most lovable and adorable baby who wouldn't sleep a blink at night, it was a bit overwhelming. 

At some point, in the hospital blur, I agreed to participate in a program through public health. They offer many different programs for new parents, depending on your circumstances, and I qualified for one program, because I was a first time mum. It would involve a public health nurse coming to my home every few weeks to weigh and measure my son, and help me navigate through life as a first time mum. Normally, having a stranger come into my home would be a bit scary, but I was nervous about parenthood and thought it would help having an "expert" available for me to ask questions and help get through rough patches. After all, let's be honest, I really didn't have a clue about what I was doing! 

A few days after getting home, I received a phone call, asking if I was still interested, and I'm so glad that I said yes! They told me I could decide to "quit" at any time I wanted, and the support would be there until my son was 2 years old. Initially, the nurse came to my house every couple of weeks. This was great when I had questions about breastfeeding, sleeping, and all the other questions mums have in the first couple of months. 

At each visit, the nurse would see how things were going, ask if I had any questions, review milestones and leave me with questionnaires to complete with my husband before our next appointment, to help us track his progress. She would always leave helpful handouts on feeding guidelines and activity suggestions for each stage. The feeding guidelines really came in handy when I was introducing solids, so I would have an idea of when and how much to feed him. These guides had a permanent place on the side of my fridge so they could be easily referred to and I've shared them with others. The activity suggestions were also helpful when he was really little, because I was always looking for new things to do throughout the day that would also support his development.

One of the handouts I always looked forward to receiving was the "get to know me" sheet each month. It outlined things that children typically enjoy doing at that age, which helped me better understand child development and figure out what to expect from our baby as he progressed. It was all new to us, so it was really helpful! 

Over time, the nurse came less frequently, especially after I returned to work, but I always had her phone number and email if I had a question.  Feeding and sleeping were always big topics for conversation early on. It was so comforting to have someone who could give a suggestion that worked for someone else, or just to have her say, "It's okay. This is totally normal!"

Today was our last visit with the nurse. It's sad to say good-bye to the program, but at the same time, I think I'm good to go now! I feel so much more confident in my mom skills and have also learned to ask for help when I need it, and have learned who to reach out to.

So, why am I sharing this? Well, I write this, because I think parents often try to do it all on your own, but all parents, especially first-time parents, can use all the support they can get. Take advantage of programs like this, even if you don't need it long-term, you could learn something from it. It takes a village to raise a child, and it's always nice to be able add a new member to your village!

My Scattered Life

It's been a while. For the past 10 months, I'd say that there has probably been too much "Scatterbrain" and not enough "Adventure." I kept wanting to write, but then I'd realize I have to put in a couple more hours of work, or the dishes (or laundry) would call my name, or sleep just wins over. Usually it was sleep. I really love sleep. Really, at the end of the day, with the return to work, my spare time was pretty limited. Playing with my son, or spending time with my husband came first. As it should!

Anyway, there was a little adventure. C's first birthday was exciting. It was also his first real Halloween. Last year, we had only been home from the hospital for about 48 hours.  We didn't even have time to carve a pumpkin! This year, there was a costume and trick-or-treating.  Then there was Christmas, followed by the winter that wouldn't end. Seriously. It sucked. Bad. Ugh, I get the no-sunshine-blues just thinking about it.  (Think happy thoughts, it's sunny today!)

Here are three highlights of my scatterbrained life over the past 10 months: 

1)  A 1st Birthday:  My last post was about the big party or little party dilemma. I DID have a party for my son's first birthday party. It was pretty relaxed, but fun. A little play-date with a yummy cake. Of course, then I decided we needed some decorations. I mean, really, what 1st birthday part doesn't have decorations. Before I knew it, we had a theme - construction - cute decorations ordered on line, tool belt treat bags, and construction hats. Despite going more overboard that I thought I would, it was still pretty relaxed, and Little C had a great day.

2)  Return to Work: I made it through my first school year as a teacher and mum. It was okay, but I still don't know if I've got the whole work-life balance figured out. Maybe I never will. It's really hard. I know, people said it would be, but I had no idea. Fellow parents, I salute you. Single mums and dads, I bow at your feet. Seriously, HOW do you do it? I feel like I'm always just trying to get through. We leave the house at 7:15am and get home around 5:30pm. Then it's supper, dishes, play, bath, usually some laundry, getting everything together for the next day, a little more work, and then about 3 seconds of relaxation before going to bed and doing it all over again. Housework is fit in wherever possible, and don't even get me started on meal planning and going for groceries. What's the secret?

3)  Sleep!: It took 19 months, but we finally figured out the whole sleep thing with Little C. This was life-changing. I should explain that for the first 3 months of his life, he wouldn't let us put him in a crib, playpen or anything at night. It was all sleep on the couch or chair holding this little bundle of joy. Eventually, we were able to move him to a playpen, then, in time, a crib, but getting him to go to sleep was torture. Seriously. I'm sure the books would give us different advice, but we just waited until he was ready. We weren't going to let him be miserable just so we could follow a routine. If he wasn't tired, we wouldn't try to put him to sleep. At some point this spring, we was finally ready though. So, we brushed off the old bedtime routine that had been tried many times before, and started putting him to bed at 8pm, after a bath, 3 books, a nightlight, window blinds open, and a playlist of soft music playing in the background. It worked! He goes to bed at 8pm every night and sleeps until about 7am. I feel like I'm living the dream.

I started this blog to help me get used to writing again, a skill that is important to my profession. I was off for over a year on maternity leave, and I found that I had a really hard time getting back some of the critical skills for my job - especially getting my thoughts out.  I enjoyed it, but it's not always easy to find the time. I found returning to work really difficult and with some other personal family stuff going on, this wasn't a priority. I probably won't post regularly, but I am going to try to share some adventures with my son and family.

First Birthdays - PARTY or party?

Alright mummies, what do you do for a first birthday? Big PAR-TAY, with all the babies we know invited? Small grandparents/aunts/uncle type party? Casual drop in for friends and family? I don't know what to do! I have less than a month until Little C's first birthday party.

My brain tells me that a casual, low key, family and friends get together would the thing to do. Playtime for the kids and cake. I mean, really, what will he remember? Probably not much. Having more kids to play with and getting to eat cake would probably be a lot of excitement all on it's own.

On the other side, my heart (which is, as always, filled with mummy-guilt) tells me to make it the best party ever! We're talking Pinterest inspired party - thematic treats, decorations, games, favours... the whole nine yards.  Sure, it would really only be for the adults, but he'll be really impressed when he's older and looks at the photo albums, right?

So, I need to know. What did you do for your baby's first birthday - giant bash filled with fancy decorations and food, or chill open hous afternoon with just a few friends and family. Help!

Back To Work

My maternity leave is over, and I'm starting my third week back at work. (Which also explains the lack of updates last week. Oops!) I'm happy to be back to work, but its also hard. Besides being away from my little guy all day, I've learned some things.

1) I miss nap time. Honestly, I rarely participated in nap time, but while Little C napped, I had some quiet time. Now there is no more quiet time. Is just rush, rush, busy, busy time. I've discovered that I am an introvert at heart, and need the solitary time to recharge. I need to learn to take a few minutes here and there for myself, so I can get at time.

2) My vocabulary has changed a lot over the past year. I was always a person who didn't like "fart jokes" and firmly believed that some things should not be discussed publically. Now, I laugh at farts, cheer when Facebook friend's kids use the potty for the first time (even though I still thinks an over-share), and have talked more about dirty diapers in the past year than I'd like to admit. Fart, poop, pee... all spoke many times a day. This is all fine to me, but it also means I have to learn to talk to adults again. Some words are not really considered part of professional dialogue. 

3) My secret dream was always to live in a musical. Well, having child makes that dream come true. I sing everything. Diaper changes? "There's a little bit of poo in there, just a little bit of poooooo!" Leaving the house? "Let's go, let's go, to the truck, to the truck!" The songs go on and on. I sing about lunch, letting the dog out, making supper, and don't even get me started on playtime. Everything becomes a song - a constant musical narrator. So, I guess I'm living the dream. The problem is that I could get some funny looks when I'm singing while setting up my laptop, writing down notes, or scheduling a meeting. I should also mention that singing is definitely not my forte. I have to watch myself. Or, maybe I should just let the songs flow! 

4) I can't stand still. I've heard this happens to parents, but I didn't really believe it... Until now. I was standing today and found myself swaying back to back. I have had to rock my son like hat in quite a while, at least not on a daily basis. Still, I couldn't stop myself. Sway back and forth, back and forth.

So, if you need me, I'll be at work, swaying, singing to myself, yawning and talking about poo. Life is good.

Reflections on a C-Section

I wrote this about two months ago. The end of my maternity leave was in sight, and I was thinking about the past year. It's funny, I always talk to my students about the power of writing. It can help you sort through your thoughts and help you heal. This was written as an attempt to sort through my emotions over having a C-section. I wasn't ready to hit the publish button then, but now I think I am. I also hit publish, because when I was recovering from my C-section, filled with mixed emotions and mummy guilt, I found comfort in some other women's stories of their own emotional recovery from C-sections.

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Having a c-section really threw me for a loop. It was definitely unexpected; it was definitely unwanted, but it's what I got.

 

I had a fairly easy pregnancy.  I wasn't too sick.  I had some summer heat swelling, but overall a nice pregnancy.  I enjoyed being pregnant, knowing this little person was growing inside me, feeling him move around, wondering what he would be like. I was nervous about the actual birth, but was also looking forward to it. I wanted to join the "mommy club" and be able to swap stories of my child's birth with other mums. 

 

I was a week overdue when I finally went into labour.  I had been scheduled for an induction three days later, and I was so excited to go on my own.  I didn't want to force anything.  All day long I timed my contractions, so I would know when it was time to go to the hospital.  After having contractions all night long, my husband stayed home the next day, and we waited... and waited... and waited.  We waited until 1am the next morning.  That was after about 24 hours of contractions.  My husband finally said, "It's time." The timing wasn't quite what they told us at prenatal class, but it was close, and I was tired. 

 

We got to the hospital and everything was looking good. I was being monitored and things were progressing on their own.  I was able to push, and I remember thinking, "This is what it's like!" I was really excited.  Unfortunately, it was slow going. I was so determined, but I could tell that it wasn't going as it should. Eventually, a nurse returned to my room and gently told me that it may be necessary to do a C-section. 

 

My heart immediately sunk.  I didn't want one.  I think I knew that it would be a possibility when things weren't progressing as well as the doctors wanted, and I could hear them checking the monitors and mumbling about how our numbers weren't where they wanted them to be.  The nurse said that it wasn't a "for sure" thing, but she wanted to prepare me for the possibility.   

 

In the end, it was my reality. Once the decision was made, things went very quickly. I didn't really have any concept of time, but before I knew it, we were in an operating room with lots of people in scrubs moving quickly around the room. My little boy was still a bit stubborn and gave us some trouble, flipping and rolling around when he shouldn't, but he arrived safely at 12 noon, on the dot.

 

In the end, I had a very healthy and happy baby boy. Since then, he has grown into this funny, loveable, friendly little boy. I know in my heart that's all that matters. Sadly, on a fairly regular basis, my brain fills me with guilt and sadness over the fact that I had a c-section. Why do I have so much guilt? Why does the thought of it make me so sad, even as I watch my 8 month old walk around my loving room, clinging to furniture and taking breaks to stand on his own? I wish I knew. Thoughts of not being woman enough. Thoughts of not being strong enough. Thoughts of failing. I've never really failed at anything. Why did it have to be the most important thing?

It's been 8 months and I don't think I have mentally recovered from having my baby.  It gets easier all the time, and I hope that someday I will see my C-section as an act of strength and beauty, instead of a weak one. Until then, I'll keep reminding myself that my son is happy and healthy, so I must have done something right.

World Breastfeeding Week - My Experiences and Thoughts

I'm going to get a little personal with this one, folks. It's World Breastfeeding Week.  I think it's wonderful that Breastfeeding moms (and their supporters - dads, kids, friends) get a full week to publicly celebrate breastfeeding. At the same time, I wonder what all the media attention does to mothers that don't (for whatever reason) breastfeed, especially those who would, if they could.

I think a lot about the breast vs. formula debate, so I'm going to attempt to sort out my thoughts here. I'll start with my own experience.

I was able to breastfeed my son for six and a half months. I'm very proud of that, but it wasn't easy, and simply saying that I breastfed for over six months makes it sound like an easy success. You see, after having a C-section, and already feeling like a bit of a mommy failure, I was even more determined to breastfeed. In my mind, I wasn't successful at the birth, so I had to be successful at breastfeeding.

On top of that, I was a long time believer that breastfeeding was the only choice and didn't understand why some mothers wouldn't do it. Looking back, I think I was naïve, because it's really not that simple. Of course, the videos at prenatal classes and the pictures of breastfeeding mothers that frequently get shared online make it seem so easy. Why wouldn't I think that?

To make a long (and quite emotional) story short, after a horrible experience with breastfeeding in the hospital, I ended up needing to supplement with some formula. I was quite sure I wasn't going to be able to breastfeed at all - disappointment doesn't come close to describe how I felt. The day after leaving the hospital, (a five day stay) I visited the hospital lactation consultants and they helped get me back on track - I was able to breastfeed with the aid of a shield. I was so relieved. Something was finally going asplanned. Unfortunately, after numerous attempts in the following weeks, we weren't able to wean my son from the shield. I was told that this is often cause for concern, but for me, it was okay, because he was gaining weight and was healthy, and it didn't cause me any issues. It didn't feel as "natural," but it was what we needed to make it work, and at that point, I was willing to do just about anything. 

Anytime I got discouraged, (and there were many times) I would say to myself, "I just need to make it to 3 months," then "I  just have to make it to 6 months." I will return to work when my son is 10 months old, so I had said from the beginning that I would breastfeed until 6 months so I could take time to slowly wean and make sure that he was happy and comfortable.

At a point between 5 and 6 months, I had to start supplementing with formula. Even that was an emotional decision, because I wanted to be able to do it on my own, but also knew that he was needing something more and wasn't quite ready for solids.

Finally, at almost 7 months, it seemed like the right time for my son to make the full switch to formula. He seemed ready. I felt like I was finally getting the swing of things, but if he was ready, then that was what mattered. Even though it had been difficult most of the time, I was a little sad. Even now, I still miss the closeness sometimes, but when I do, I just gather my son up for a cuddle or we have a snuggly nap, and I know that it's okay. He's fine. Actually, he's more than fine - he's healthy, growing, and very happy.

In the later months of breastfeeding, I was also feeling increased pressure from the media, because at that time, a study had come out about there not being a difference between formula fed babies and breastfed babies. I'm not sure how accurate or how comprehensive the study actually was - all I know is that it added fuel to the mommy wars. Everywhere you turned, there were messages of "Breast is best!" or "Formula feeding is best!" It was a lot to take in, and I found myself agreeing with both sides.

I also noticed that many would say, I think breastfeeding is best, but formula feeding is okay if you have to, in an attempt to show non-breastfeeding mums that they supported them. (That's probably what I would have said before having a baby, too.) I think the problem is that even that statement could make it seem like mothers who have to (or choose to) formula feed made the "other" choice, not the "best" choice. As a mum you always want to make the BEST choice. 

So, 9 months into motherhood - 6 months breastfeeding and 3 months formula feeding - here is my thinking on the debate:

Maybe we should just cheer on every mother (or father) who feeds her baby. I know it sounds silly, but to me, it's that simple. That's what a baby needs. They need nourishment. Just as important, they need parents who love them and are able to enjoy the short time that their little ones are little, and not be stressed out over something as basic as feeding them. If I had chosen to formula feed my son from the very beginning, he would be fine. He would probably be the same healthy, happy little boy that he is now. We would have snuggled just as much while I was feeding him. He would know that I loved him, and our bond would have been just as strong. I'm still glad that I was able to breastfeed, but in hindsight, knowing now what I do, I could have formula fed him and felt good about that decision, too.  

So, if breastfeeding was your choice, and you are happy with the decision (despite any little bumps in the road), then breastfeeding is the BEST choice! Great job mum! Enjoy this time with your baby!

If breastfeeding isn't quite working out or causing you or your family undue stress, then you have to figure out what the BEST choice is for you and your family. Either way, great job mum! Enjoy this time with your baby!

If formula was your choice, then it's the BEST choice for you and your family! Great job mum! Enjoy this time with your baby!

In the end, you need to figure out what works for your baby, for you and for your family. Parenthood can be a pretty tough job. I'm only 9 months in, but it is both the most amazing experience and the most difficult, because I always want to make the best decisions for my little boy. We parents need to stick together and support the choices our fellow parents make. Our families may be different, but we're all just trying to do our best. Breast? Bottle? A mix of he two? In the end, we want happy, thriving babies, and only the parents of each individual baby knows what's best. After all, we wouldn't make a choice that was anything but the best! 

That's my two cents.